


Gehenna

by Ladyofwarandmercy



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Cigars, Cussing, Gen, Songfic The Rodeo Song, Ward is Hellfire, pwned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 00:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5025787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofwarandmercy/pseuds/Ladyofwarandmercy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson is separated from the rest of the team during a raid on HYDRA's Gehenna base. Ward was supposedly killed with a Terrigen crystal, but guess who Phil runs into while waiting to be picked up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gehenna

The HYDRA base at Gehenna was falling into ruins as Phil Coulson watched. Fires were finally out of control, but everybody Phil cared about had apparently gotten free. Phil just needed to wait for May to make it to the Quinjet, so she could come pick him up. Phil sat on a rock on one of the craggy hills that surrounded the facility, turned on his homing beacon, and was about to toss a cam net over himself, when he heard a tenor voice sing,

 

"OH it's forty below got a heater in my truck and I don't give a fuck, and it's off to the rodeOOO! Allemande left and allemande right, come on you fuckin dummy get your right step right-"

 

Phil picked up his beacon and his bag, and walked towards the singer as he continued the rather profane song. He tried to be quiet about it, not knowing the identity of the singer, but the singer continued, 

 

"Here comes Coulson with his pecker in his hand, he's a one-ball man and I'm off to the rodeo"

 

As Coulson rounded a corner, his stomach dropped. He had never before heard Grant Ward sing, and was certainly not expecting him to be alive. May and Hunter were supposed to have set him up on a date with a Terrigen crystal. Either they had failed, or…

 

Phil brought up his pistol to finish what Hunter and May had started. The smile on Ward's face went smug, he lifted gis own hand, and the gun became too hot for Coulson to hold in his natural hand. "I got your little present, Phil. And don't think about picking the gun up with your artificial hand, either. If it's not living tissue, I can make it really hot." Ward took a metal tube out of his pocket, opened one end, and pulled out a cigar. He pointed upwards, and a large flare shot from his index finger. Ward concentrated on the fingertip, and the flame subsided to about an inch. Ward used it to light the end of the cigar, and he took a puff. He looked a little green, and coughed in a little sputter.

 

"Hey, I'm not really a smoker, but John told me the day would come when I could smoke this. I never thought I'd see that day until today." Ward gestured towards the burning base. "Isn't it beautiful, Phil? Just watching it all burn." He took another puff without coughing, but he still looked a little green. Coulson asked, "I take it Zemo and Von Strucker got away?" Ward nodded, and gestured for Phil to continue, which he did. "We will find them and kill them after we deal with you." 

 

Ward rolled his eyes, and his tone was that of a superior officer talking to a particularly dumb underling. "You just don't get it, do you? Zemo hates Von Strucker, and the feeling is mutual. I myself proved it isn't all that hard to re-constitute HYDRA from the ashes. But this time, thanks to my planning, and SHIELD's bungling, Hydra will re-constitute itself, but as an unstable duumvirate." Ward took a longer puff on the cigar. "And just look at all that Zemo and Von Strucker money just burning to the ground. Kara would be so proud of me. But the best part is, I have achieved something you have wanted to do, but weren't ruthless, or let's face it, competent enough to do. And all you can do is sit back there with your pecker in your hand and watch the show." As they could both hear the whine of May's approaching Quinjet, Ward disappeared around the hill. As Coulson strapped in, May asked, "I saw you talking to someone. Who was it?" Coulson shook his head. You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Gary Lee and the Showdown wrote the Rodeo Song, not me.


End file.
